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Arcade: Challenge Stellata in the Arcade! A six year old girl sleeping in bed with grandparents not clothed? What age should a child stop sleeping with their parents? Should I allow is to break up my marriage and be better off alone? … I mean is it really necessary in the bedroom of all places, these people don’t actually care about the kids or they would never subject them to this passed a maximum of 1-2 years old. I have argued the issue with him and her and he feels until she has a bed at his house that it’s ok and apparently she’s been sleeping with him since he divorced. I’ve know and have been uncomfortable with the level of their physically romantic like relationship and have nearly said something about it in the past, and now to find out they are, have been, and will continue to share a bed makes me really feel like someone should say something. I think passing judgement on someone else’s family dinamic is more disturbing than a child sleeping with their parent. Wow…the reason I found this thread was because I wanted to know if my 10 yr old son was the only kid in the world that still wants to sleep with his Mom! I would love to have my own room. So weird in my opinion, but what can I say and not look like a btch? I would not recommend. He doesn’t have to fake cry for long before he gets whatever he wants. How to stop co-sleeping with your newborn to 18-month-old The good news is your baby’s sleep habits are still highly adaptable at this age, but to train your infant to be comfortable in their own bassinet or crib, you’ll need to be consistent about making sure that all sleep happens in that space. Sadly he wasnt always able to be at home when I was little. Suddenly, the bedroom door bangs open and the small, sturdy figure of my 5-year-old daughter stands framed in the doorway. If I say anything then is mad. At a certain age enough is enough. God forbid if this parent passes away…this child’s devastation would be maximized, This might be weird coming from one of the people of interest in this post but, I just turned twelve and find my self co-sleeping with my mother (Don’t worry I’m a girl ). She is used to sleeping with someone and doesn’t feel that it is fair that you get to sleep with someone while she sleeps alone. He has a hard time in school both academically and socially due to lack of independence. Get those kids out of your bed before they reach double digits! Is Your Child's Toy a Choking Hazard? I wish my boyfriend will stop letting his soon to be 9yr old sleep with him…I refuse to so I sleep on the couch while being 7months pregnant. And subsequently, it turns bonding moments and co-sleeping into an issue of sexuality. I will say that it is also not healthy for you to be in that relationship. He comes and get in my husband’s and my bed if he wakes at night. From the outside, it might seem creepy for mother and son, or father and daughter or even daughter and mother and father and son to be sharing a bed into the pre-teen or teenage years. He does go to friend’s houses for occasional sleepovers and he can fall asleep in his own bed, but it’s still a nightly pleading that I am faced with. I have nephew who slept in his parents bed for years. My kids older teenagers, doing their own thing. He turns on the water get her pjs.I sleep in the other room because I toss and turn. Learn how your comment data is processed. It’s hard. He has 50/50 custody of his children, so it’s not like he doesn’t get to see them. How can i explain to them that it is unhealthy. Once child knows difference between 2 sexes they shouldn’t see their parents naked at all. I found it disgusting, morbid, humiliating and so horrendous that now, at almost age 49, I am still shocked I was forced to do so. If you google “narcissist golden child scapegoat” you should come up with many great resources. Just give us a break…and no, my child doesnt sleep with me…but cant stand judgemental people …wondering if you guys are so perfect and yoyr lives are so perfect…. The practice of parents co-sleeping with their children (sharing the bed with their child or sleeping on different cots in the same room) is quite old, especially in the Eastern cultures where the family is considered above an individual. Same problem here!! Hes 19 now. It took me until he was about 10 yrs old to get him in his own bed. They need to get it. I’m not sure which came first: the dependency or the co-sleeping. You will sleep in your bed, in your own room little fella, even if there’s a monster in there. Would you do that if they were girls? I think there’s a time and place for everything there’s a time for your children to go to bed in their own rooms and then there is a time where you and your significant other need your space together without the children being there and renewing that intimacy and bond. I do believe part of our closeness comes from out close bonds. I’m 13 and this may sound weird coming from a teenager but I haven’t been able to sleep lately, and then I go and wake up my mum and dad and see if I can sleep with them. Children need love, nurturing, and structure. Hell if anything, if I were given the chance to do it again, not only would I; but i would have held him even tighter. You are hindering their development and making their life confusing. He likes to close the door when they’re in there together. ", If you are stuck in the middle between a disapproving partner and a kid who refuses to sleep without you, Tricia K. suggests adding a sleep place for your child in your room: "My son is two and he has his own bed on the floor of our bedroom. He does not come into our room in the middle of the night. Just learned this and will not be allowing any more visits. Either sleep with mom or on the floor kind of thing. Just Because she wanted to. lol I have a 49 year old boyfriend with a 17 yr old daughter who has the mentality of a 12 year old. I would have to say that is concerning. My son is 10 and he has slept w my husband and I since birth. And obviously, a 10 year old in the bed is quite a hindrance to martial intimacy. Others say they start feeling less at ease when children become more aware, curious, and questioning about physical differences, often at around age 2 or 3. Poor kid. 20 hours ago, by Kelsie Gibson I agree these kids don’t know any other way and they won’t change as they get older You’re the parents that’s your child… during normal awake times is when you show your child affection not during sleeping hours. And it made me sick. He thinks this is OK. She can not leave the room without him. I mean, he was a great dad , and that’s why I liked him in the first place, because I also have 2 children. I agree my boyfriend of 2 yrs 11 almost 12 yr old son when I am not there he sleeps with his Dad on the weekends and Holidays and often will say please do not come over tonight its our bonding time .. He’s getting big. My kids and i in another room. Just does what he wants when he wants and no respect for authority. What are your thoughts on a mother who will not provide a bed for her 10 year old son. One of two things happens when parents do this to their children, they either never grow up or if they do grow up the kid becomes scarred for life and spend the rest of their life wishing they never had to experience this behaviour from their parents… Kids need structure, discipline and boundaries or they stay kids well into their adulthood and usually their brains never fully develop right after this. Even when her other siblings and cousins spend the night she gets very anxious and cries to go home . A mom named Elfrieda, for instance, suggests that if you have a child who is eager to please, it might be a good idea to make sure you're not guilting him into it: "If he's very keen on pleasing you, he might keep sleeping in your bed long after he wishes he could be on his own." I do feel guilty because, I’m not with my ex anymore and just think to myself that one day he’s not gonna want me around and I should take advantage of this time that he does. And hope people will not judge. I left for uni when I was 17 and up until that time, sleeping in bed with him was very normal for me. How has it turned out? I don’t have my own child i need to worry for. The Bible says marriage is honerable and the bed undefined… it is for married husbands and wives. Her behavior is not like other kids. He is practically an only child because his siblings are grown and out of the house. What is Alopecia – Is your Dog Losing Loosing its Hair. What you are describing is clearly indicative that your boyfriend (hopefully former by now) is a narcissistic parent. Advise, and/or comments would be great.. but please nothing rude!!! Like bathing and being naked in front of them, it make them feel relaxed and free. I saw him trying to nurse off of her yesterday morning and he is 7 years old. ☝️, Awesome, You’re All Set! Yes I do find it unusually unfortunately I can already see signs of anxiety for the kid maybe even insomnia. I know someone today who has an 10 year old going on 11 and he must sleep with her every night and have her full attention 24/7. My husband, (his father) wound up sleeping in my sons bed. But when? It’s just that I think it’s time for him to get into his own bed. Q: My situation is complicated. Seriously, grow up a bit. OMG Melinda seriously !!! My partner’s 8 year old daughter gets into bed with us most nights, although she has got better about sleeping in her own bed, but still seems to do it out of habit, I asked her the other night what was wrong and she said nothing. They were married; my father slept on the pull out couch in the living room. Even more common, whether parents admit it or not is that allowing your children to sleep with you can be downright easier than fighting with a fussy toddler at bedtime night after night after night. We let children make their own decisions because we’re not narcissistic control freaks who lusts over the idea of creating a “mini-me”. That is very unhealthy situation and should get away from that as soon as possible. This boys mother would rather appease him than deal with the fussing. It does mentally affect a child. The question here is not for against bed sharing but when it becomes unnatural, wrong, or just plain weird. He is an only child. Correct judgment call? I wish you much happiness. I think he knows it’s strange to him after a few minutes and be gets up and goes to his own bed. He is a nervous wreck because he lacks the capability of a toddler to self soothe. So, I had a hard time understanding that bond between them. I agree with you. Really… Really? Made me have issues see I fell off the bed at very young age so I got smothered. Last yesr3i bought a bed w trundle and he and i fall asleep in his room. What age should they not do that anymore. This thread is full of selfish parents that want their child to be their “baby” forever, and it is sad because it just decreases their childs chances at success in every way. You can get in big trouble if one is found in private areas. I agree!!!! These parents need to stop thinking about what they want and instead think about what’s best for the kids and if they do the right thing early on enough the kid will never even want to do those things or be dependent on them in the first place it really effects their development. There is a reason every medical and pyscological organization in the world agrees co-sleeping should end by age 6. We have a ruitinee bed time. I was baffled.. I won’t let weakminded spoilt brats of nowadays dictate how I live my life. Its upsetting, forgive me for wincing! They have their own room, … When single mom Marianne D. had questions about whether it's okay for her 6-year-old son to continue sleeping with her, the overwhelming majority of the moms who responded (over 200 in total) felt that six is not too old to sleep with mommy, especially if doing so achieves the main goal of bedtime: good sleep! He still has the same issue. Sleeping with a teen or pretten child is simply selfish. After reading everyone and the article…ummm i say be a parent not a friend. You should go sleep in another room and let them bond if that’s what the son and father want. Sick kids are so hard to see when your a patent. 1 day ago, by Monica Sisavat Should a pubescent boy who wakes up every morning with an erection, be sleeping next to his mother? He will not give her a second to herself, which is true, he can not do anything by himself or entertain himself in any way when she is around. We wonder why our society is so messed up? That said I do remember feeling lonely at night as a child but learned as an adult the importance of being self sufficient and that no person can fill that void, it has to come from within you. I have read about legal problems in this area including criminal investigation. Or the camp counselor? 1 day ago, by Maggie Ryan my twins just turned 12 and I had a long talk with them and set a date for them to sleep in their own bed, no matter what. She is now 10 yrs old and I see issues that are created by this. In my strongest conviction, allowing this to continue, you replace the connection that should be growing with your spouse with your child. They saw I was naked, so they took their clothes off and climbed into bed with me and curled up with me and cuddled into my warm naked embrace and I could feel their warmth. It’s going to end our relationship. Independent, and sweet and normal as can be. Not dad and daughter. My dad’s friend, was a really awesome and nice guy, as was his wife. I’m from the Philippines. When his friends come over, he sleeps in his own bed and they sleep in the other bunkbed so he can def. I love him, but I am weirded out by the fact his 11-year-old and 6-year-old daughters insist on sleeping in his bed with him. We were very close, and I absolutely adored my dad and am extremely grateful for everything he’s done for me and for all the time we got to spend together. Both my kids slept with my husband (their father) and me until both were ~8. Issues when He was born only to get under control by the age of about 3.5. He also has no problem sleeping outside of our home. namestae. I get home from work late at night and have to remove him to his own bed at circa 2 AM every night. Love your comment Amy…well done you…i have got a little girl too and ocassionally we sleep together…i love being close to her, giving her hugs and feel her breath on my face. I agree with your statement. Or, on the flipside, how does a co-sleeper go to a friend’s for a sleepover? where did you get your psychiatry degree? And for the record, ALL parents should know that everyone from the American Academy of Pediatrics to the Mayo Clinic are against co-sleeping due to the hazards that it can pose to your child. At what age should a child no longer sleep in their parents' bed? You are partly to be blamed for letting this happen. My wife also thinks it’s gotten weird and too much and she doesn’t understand what’s going on in that household either. And if it still bothers no, no-one said you have to accept it. I can go to sleepovers and camps just like “normal” . And why would she? Also I’m sorry if this is a double post, it didnt seem as though the last one got posted. So we co slept often so I could be aware of his status. When a child is young and they wake up afraid, then console them (I am in no way taking sides.) Until I was about 12 I would often sleep over with a friend of his when he was away for work. When my dad was home though I would almost always sleep in bed with him, anytime he was around really I basically attached myself to his hip lol. Not only does she see him naked, sleep with him, but she also doesn’t have any chores at his house, because he makes his son do it all, and when he would talk about doing things, and going olaces, he would always say he needs to bring his daughter, but never his son.. Is it me, or is this a little strange?? How many grandchildren do you have? For more fortunate kids, I think bed-sharing, whatever you call it is fine, even if they have their own, wonderful room. But once maybe twice a month he does sleep with me. But there is no need to judge other people parenting as everyone does it differently. They would let me sleep in the guest bedroom, we would play together, or occasionally go out to eat. My 10-year old son sleeps with us. I told BOTH of them someone needs to sleep on the couch and when he told her to do it, she cried and came into his room anyway like a 2 year old. The only “helpful” advice here, is it needs to stop. I don’t know if her mother beats her (I assume not) but she’s excessively anxious and dependent on her mother. If this current generation is to be wiped out, mine will go down fighting like not just a soldier, but like one who knows he must return home to raise and look after his own family. Is there an age where a child should not sleep with mom or dad? I do consider it wrong. My mum and sister say that once she becomes a teen she won’t want to sleep with her dad and will find the idea icky. He actually has his own bedroom with a beautiful queen size bed in it. 1 4 I refuse to let him live with us after high school. Last night was not one of those nights though when they asked me, so I was not prepared and I slept naked in my bed, but they both came to me anyways and said they had a nightmare . If there's a magic age at which kids should be in their own beds, moms can't agree on it. All I can say is I hope the boyfriend wises up and kicks you to the curb. Why do none of the pro co-sleeping paents discuss developmental, psychological, emotional impacts (present & future) on the child? 15 year old boys! What age should daughters not be consistently sleeping in the same bed as their dad? The other graduated college early, lives alone in NYC and is a successful financier. That’s what I wanted to say, because I have felt pretty much alone with this particular problem in modern day US culture. Ohhhhhhh, MAYBE they just don’t get to do those fun childhood things!! They just turned 6. I wake up scared every morning, afraid my son won’t be alive. The next day you can tell he is exhausted, and looks very nervous and panicky. It is sick. If he even mowed the lawn once per year, that was all he did and you would have thought he’d painted the Sistine Chapel over how she raved over his efforts. However, the author Dr. Susan Forward has also done some excellent work around this topic. So, if you put a mattress in your room and don't mind laying with your child until they fall asleep and then getting back in bed...that might work.". It is an invasion of privacy. He sees her every second day. When we have him for the weekend we can’t even touch or hold hands in front of him. Though the most recent safe sleep guidelines suggest that parents share a room with their little ones until they're at least 6 months old, a new study finds that might not be the best thing for either baby or the rest of the family.. Last October, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) released updated recommendations suggesting … When he was 4 I thought surely this can’t last much longer. But I wish it wasn’t weird to still have him sleep with me. We have a small house. This bed we sleep in has been “his” too, and I feel when he is ready to move on, he will. That’s all he’s known since birth. Gavin advises moving your baby into his own room by the age of 6 months to avoid separation anxiety and other potential developmental problems. I asked if I could be the one to sleep on the pull-out couch and was told that my father needed the air conditioner (there was only one of those). I just learned they share the same bed him and I are intimate in. When I was 13 he got a different job and started working from home, we had a whole lot more time to spend together. Help? I was, and still am, terrified that he will die in his sleep. Sleeping with your own kids is something advantage : Kids become open to talk about lots of personal staff/issues with parent hence they feel and see the love. I do spend a little time with my kids, but they developing into independent adults in a couple yrs. In no way would I ever consider my dad to have been abusive, but I do feel it is something people are very quick, and not to mention wrongfully, judge. Im baffled how some of these moms & dads are willing the play russian roulette with the future of their child. She’s 11 his 56. I worked odd retail hours, and at first thought I was being supportive of breastfeeding by sleeping in the guest room when I would get home late. He holds her hand.I walk behind them. ", Things usually start to change as kids near puberty and realize that they want more independence and privacy. He sometimes says he wants to sleep in his own room. My son wakes up happy. Not to mention, the resentment your child will likely carry for the person taking their place in your bed. If this dad is your boyfriend…..or husband you will not be dating much longer if you think or continue your thinking. It says in her online bio she has her name attributed to ” thousands” of articles. From my side, i am heartbroken and alone, from their side, they dont even notice i there. I am not taking a side on this. And the sooner these things begin the better off the kids will be in the future. I honestly find their relationship to be a little weird. According to Parenting's MomConnection, a surprising 45% of moms let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them from time to time, and 13% permit it every night. Oh Boy! I even want to confront him myself and tell him can you please not sleep in the bed with her and make her go back to her room. More than a father daughter relationship. 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